P.S. I Miss You by Jen Petro-Roy

P.S. I Miss You by Jen Petro-Roy

My Rating: ★★★★

Evie’s parents are strict Catholics and they find it highly embarrassing that their oldest daughter, Cilla, is pregnant out of wedlock. After several fights, Cilla finally agrees to move out, put the baby up for adoption once they’re born, and enter an all girls Catholic private school. Upset that she didn’t even get to say goodbye, Evie starts writing her big sister letters every day and doesn’t get a single letter in return. As the new school year starts, Evie begins to wish that Cilla was around more than ever as she tries to figure out her sexuality and what it means for her family. If her parents rejected Cilla as a sinner for getting pregnant, she can only imagine how her parents will react when they find out that she’s a lesbian.

This is an absolutely wonderful story that’s told through a series of letters that Evie writes to her older sister. We watch Evie struggle with loneliness after her biggest confidant and sister is sent away. Evie has friends, but there’s a hole in her life now that her sister is gone. She can’t visit or talk to her on the phone, but she can write letters, so that’s what she does. Petro-Roy truly captures how close siblings can be, and how it feels when they’re suddenly apart. Even when Evie was mad at Cilla, I could tell that she loved her far more than she was angry with her. I love that Evie also saw her sister as this cool person who is a bit of a role model because it’s so common for one to view an older sibling as really smart and cool.

As the book continues, Evie begins to realize that she’s never had a crush on a boy and that she feels something more than a friendship toward her new friend, June. I’m glad that this book exists because I think it’ll help kids realizing that they’re not straight become aware that there are others going through the same things that they are. As readers, we like to see bits of ourselves appear in what we read because it’s relatable, so it’s important that LGBT characters are brought to life in books geared toward middle schoolers and young adults. It’s wonderful to see Evie go from concerned that there’s something wrong with her to realizing that there’s nothing wrong with her and that being a lesbian is normal. We also see her become afraid of what her parents might say or do if they knew based on how they reacted to Cilla’s pregnancy and how they respond to seeing gay couples. Whether or not they will accept her or send her away weighs on her mind, and she hopes to get advice from Cilla about what to do.

There are so many important themes and topics covered in a realistic way that I cannot praise it enough. Guilt and grief is present throughout the book. We see how several of the characters deal with guilt and grief in different ways as well as how their reactions affect one another. Secrets are a huge theme that becomes more apparent as the story continues. It’s really interesting to see why each character chose to keep their secrets. In Evie’s case, she’s afraid of how people will react when she tells them that she’s a lesbian, so it’s understandable as well as important that she share this part of herself on her own terms. Her parents keep secrets in an attempt to protect her, which appears to be a choice made out of grief and denial. Cilla kept secrets because she knew her parents would react badly about her pregnancy let alone her decision to have premarital sex.

This is such a wonderful book. I highly recommend it and I will definitely keep an eye out for future books by this author.